Entitled to the Sunshine

People who are not from Los Angeles seem to always get that look on their face when we Angelenos complain about winter weather below 50 degrees as though we've just simultaneously admitted to running a dog fighting ring, masterminding a billion dollar ponzi scheme and secretly volunteering for the Palin 2012 campaign. Its like they imagine that Los Angeles, is a lot like where they live, except it's summer all the time. Which is precisely what the California tourism people would like them to believe. And if that were the case, their disgust would be perfectly justified. But, rest assured, in a 158,302 square mile testament to the validity of economics, we Californians are paying (in any number of ways) for year-round sunshine, and on those few occasions that our sunshine state (sorry, Florida) doesn't deliver, it's just like someone left out one of the scoops of ice cream in your Dairy Queen banana split (a reference for you red-staters). You'd paid for three, and dammit, it's three you want - no matter what lesser desserts the surrounding patrons ordered.

Look, it's fine if the folks living in the great frozen middle of our nation want to look at winter like some sort of American rite of passage - but there are some folks willing to pay to not have to deal with snow chains, snotsicles and temperatures that can actually kill you. But rest assured, we are paying for the privilege. Let's just take for example, Indianapolis, IN - a legitimate American big city. The cost of living in Los Angeles, is 52.2% higher than in Indy. Which means that if you were making $100,000 a year in Indy, and you took that "great job" to LA - you'd have in excess of $38K less dispoable income per year. Of course, the high temperature in Indy next Monday is going to be 33 degrees - and in LA, it'll be 67 (and we'll still be pissed about that). If you paid $40,000 for year round sunshine, how would you feel about a week of rain?

And it's not just cash we're paying to live in LA. We lost $6 billion in 2002 in productivity in Southern California due to traffic (and believe it, it's gotten a lot worse since then). What the rest of the country (not counting NYC) refers to as a "traffic jam" we, here in LA, call "empty roads." It's not uncommon to average about 15mph or less during rush hour. Which may not sound so bad, until you realize that the average LA commuter has to travel 15 miles (each way) to and and from work. So, if you believe the common idiom that "time is money" - we're paying again, and paying big.

In a recent survey, Los Angeles finished third amongst America's rudest cities - behind NYC and Boston (which is really no surprise). So, amongst all the sunny, the normal dispositions are anything but. Ask anyone who's lived here - people in LA don't make friends, they network. It's like a prison colony for sociopaths, just with nicer restaurants and more expensive drinks. Who knew that sunshine attracted assholes?

Finally, real estate. I mean, the "dream" of owning a single-family home in LA is the same as they dream of being a millionaire. No, I don't mean because they're the dreams of the same people here - because they're actually the same dream. Think about what kind of house a million dollars buys in your town. Now divide the square footage in that house by a factor of four, put it in a bad part of town, cut the size of the lot down to an eighth of an acre, eliminate the pool, the multiple car garage, the landscaping, and increase the age of the building by thirty years, and you'll have your "million dollar home" in sunny Los Angeles.

With all this paying - you're damned right we want it sunny. All the damned time. Because we paid our money, and we want all three scoops of our 80 degree happiness.